A Manifesto

For Those Who Understand

When you are rejected from your school's going-to-Europe team as no. 3 out of two,

When you haven't written anything publishable in a month,

When you wish your friend would call,

When you are broke and receive a false hope of money,

When you are filling out applications for hopelessly boring jobs,

When you face a semi-existential crisis when you're doubting whether you are any good at anything anyway,

When it seems the world is not out to get you because why would it bother,

You eat chocolate. You manage not to cry because that would be giving in. You eat more chocolate. You plan devious dealings for the two boys that were picked as well as a sexism lawsuit, and then realize you are going to Europe twice in six months and that most older people are hopelessly sexist. You also realize that anyone capable of creating devious plans is capable of working in Disney imagineering, which is the dream job. You realize you are gifted beyond imagineering and may even be a published author one day. You will travel more than anyone else in the school put together. Ever.

You are the conquerer. You eat the last piece of chocolate, and set out to conquer the world.

Facing Disappointment

We think small, dream big, get excited and then KABOOM! the world seems to explode in our face, or not explode, and disappointment sets in like a popped balloon.

Disappointment is different from rejection, I think. I submit a lot of stuff and most of it is rejected, but I'm not disappointed. I'm only disappointed when I entertained hope, when I thought-- maybe, just maybe-- I might win this one. Then I lose that one. Unlike being attacked, which motivates me to fight back (and attack harder!), losing gives you a sense of... loss. Something that could have been there, wasn't.

I frequently feel like this after contests. I'm writing this after finding out I'd lost in a contest I'd hoped to win.

I'm sad.

However, I believe in what I'm writing and I know it will find its home-- I'll have to work harder, write harder, darn it. The best way for me to handle disappointment is to treat it like an attack. Am I doing something wrong? Let me check. Do I need to keep pedalling, and pedal harder? You betcha. Am I going to win the next one?

Wait and see. Or rather, you wait and see while I work my butt off and win it.